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The support of friends and family is vital for those who have experienced trauma.

You can use these tips from the MHFA curriculum to support those around you who might be struggling:


Encourage the person to talk about his or her reactions only if they feel ready. If the person wants to talk, listen in a respectful and nonjudgmental way and avoid saying anything that might trivialize the person’s feelings, such as “don’t cry,” or “calm down.”


Help the person identify sources of support, including loved ones, friends, and professional resources.


Encourage the person to get plenty of rest, and to do things that feel good (such as take baths, read, exercise, or watch television). Encourage them to think about coping strategies they have successfully used in the past and to spend time where they feel safe and comfortable.


Respect the person’s need to be alone at times.


the person from using negative coping strategies such as working too hard, using alcohol and other drugs or engaging in self-destructive behavior.

If the core issues of trauma are not addressed, individuals will continue in their maladaptive ways of coping.

Unprocessed trauma can have lingering effects on the mind and body. It may surface as anxiety, depression, feelings of anger or betrayal, mistrust, sleep disturbances or in a variety of physical symptoms including fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, headaches, endocrine problems, thyroid dysfunction, irritable bowel syndrome and neck and back problems to name a few.

These symptoms can live on for days, months or even years after the experience.

Trauma is anything that we perceive as a threat to our safety and well-being. It is a life event that has created a negative response in our mind, body, and spirit. Trauma wears many different faces: It may be physical, emotional, or sexual abuse; serving in the military; being in a relationship with an addict; the death of a loved one; divorce; the absence of a close, bonded relationship with a primary caregiver; a natural disaster; surgery; mental or chronic physical illness; frequent moves as a child; and, the list goes on. For each individual, trauma looks different.

When trauma happens, it is stored in a part of the brain that is unable to put words and feelings with the experience and make sense of it. Because this happens, many people have difficulty identifying how they think and feel about the experience. Unable to verbalize the experience, hiding it or ignoring the trauma creates a vessel of pain that eventually erupts. This pain feels overwhelming. Individuals know that they do not like the way they feel and they will do anything to stop that feeling.

When individuals do not share or receive support, they will take actions to self-medicate and manage the emotional pain. They will seek a substance, a person, or an activity that will bring quick and reliable relief. Some individuals turn to alcohol, sex, spending, drugs, relationships, eating or restricting, pornography, gambling, dissociating (going to another place psychically) or video gaming to name a few. Initially, the pain goes away and a sense of relief and equilibrium is restored. Unfortunately, the brain and the body soon become addicted to this new action thus creating a new source of pain.

How does the roller coaster stop? How does a person know if trauma is the reason they feel the way they feel or act the way they act? If you are asking these questions, you probably already have a good idea that unresolved trauma may be the missing piece in your puzzle.

In trauma therapy, it is essential to gain control over the residues of past trauma. In order to accomplish this, trauma therapy must utilize tools for identifying, understanding and treating the effects of trauma on both the mind and body as trauma can never be fully healed until we understand how the body is affected by trauma. When trauma is treated thoroughly, healing can lead not only to symptom reduction, but long-term transformation. Trauma resolved is a gift that only we can give ourselves.

When trauma happens we know that the mind becomes profoundly altered. Our brain instinctually protects us from a clear memory or emotional reaction to what really happened to us.

Do you know someone who has experienced trauma? Start here.

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